IN VIDEO: Doctors Pull A Live Cockroach From A Girl's Head

Look, does anyone really want to write a story about a 42-year-old woman in India who had doctors pry a living cockroach out of her skull? No. No sir. Not even a little, because it is tremendously gross, and we’d much rather stick to something light, like guessing which football players had sex after the Super Bowl last night. That’s the kind of safe, silly little story that won’t cause anyone to throw up or lose sleep or question the existence of a higher power. But sometimes you just have to write a story about a 42-year-old woman in India who had doctors pry a living cockroach out of her skull. And so here we are.

Last week, the woman in question went to the hospital because she felt a “tingling, crawling sensation” near her right nostril and a “burning sensation” in her eyes, according to Gizmodo. Doctors initially couldn’t find anything wrong despite all the sensations—of the tingling, crawling, and burning variety—but upon closer inspection, they indeed discovered a living, full-grown cockroach “sitting in the skull base, between the two eyes, close to the brain.” Turns out the bug crawled up her nose while she was sleeping, which is fun.

So they extracted the sucker from the woman’s nasal cavity using a combination of “suction and forceps” in a process that lasted 45 agonizing minutes, which still pales in comparison to the 12 agonizing hours that the thing lived inside her skull. Oh, and the cockroach was still moving once docs pulled it out. Oh, and there’s video. Watch it below, but just know that we had to watch this for our job, and you don’t have to do this, man. There’s still time for you.

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